Mediation Success Tip: Listening to Understand

In my first Mediation Success Tip video, I talk about how you can use listening to understand to get the most from your mediation sessions.

I believe understanding is at the heart of successful mediation. When people feel listened to and understood, they become more open to working together. And from a practical standpoint, you can't solve problems if you don't understand them.

In mediation, there are several things to understand. You need to understand what you want, as well as what the other party wants. You also need to understand the realities you face. For instance, in divorce it's important to understand (among other things) your child's emotional needs, the long-term implications of financial decisions, and the rules surrounding the division of retirement benefits. Listening helps you gain all of these understandings.

That said, listening isn't always easy, especially when you're in the same room (or on the same Zoom) with someone you disagree with deeply. That's where working with a mediator can help.

In the video, I explain how I, as a mediator, create space for listening in tense situations. And I share four practical tips you can use:

1.     Try not to interrupt.

2.     Trust that understanding is possible.

3.     Listen to yourself.

4.     Remember that your mediator is here to help.

Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXo7ra-1J5o

I hope you find these insights useful as you prepare for or participate in mediation.