Marketing Mediation Without Selling Divorce (or Marriage)

Whether giving a talk, posting a blog, or speaking with a potential client, I try to communicate about my work as a mediator in ways that anticipate the needs of people who may be in crisis without feeding into the fear that often surrounds divorce and conflict.

I believe that most mediators do this.

Still, I am frustrated by a lot of the marketing I see in the wider world. The videos offering people the supposed chance to get even, rich, or unrealistically happy. The harangues about what “you should do” in the midst of conflict. Too many of the messages we receive about relationships and conflict do not speak to our highest aspirations as a society, let alone what really works.

When I find myself feeling down about media and marketing that glorify anger, offer too-easy solutions to complex challenges, or hide possibilities from people so they are not aware of their many choices, I envision the existence of a better kind of market.

Perhaps it is a bit like the farmers markets I enjoy visiting in my neighborhood and wherever I travel. All those fruits, vegetables, and more! So fresh, so right for their time and place! Displayed for you, in many instances, by the very people who grew or produced them.

In my vision, there is a divorce and conflict resolution marketplace where all qualified professionals have the opportunity to talk to the public about our work. A market where people feel free to peruse the many offerings and calmly decide what they wish to purchase without feeling rushed, shamed, or coerced. Here people in need of assistance can examine multiple possibilities and get to know the individuals they might hire. Here people might come to realize that they can work with more than one professional as they cook up healthy ways to meet the conflicts in their lives.

As much as I strive to serve a robust number of clients, I never want to lose sight of my calling to serve the larger community – a community in which all people thrive. Therefore, I try to listen as much as I speak. Try not to give unwanted advice. Try not to put money above people or to put some people above others.

Finally, I do my utmost to ensure that I am not in the business of encouraging people to get divorced. If couples wish to separate or divorce, I offer divorce mediation in a nonjudgmental setting so that they can work together to do what is best for themselves, their children, and each other. Likewise, I do not pressure people to stay together or married. If people wish to maintain and enhance their current relationships, I offer couples mediation and other kinds of family mediation so that they can come to agreements that serve them best. I am glad that no matter how people wish to configure their relationships, families, or organizations as they look to the future, there is a kind of mediation for them.

I hope that all of my communications make this clear.